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The picture above is of my dog, a 13 year old husky with numerous fatty tumors. She seems happy and pretty healthy most of the time, except for a open-wound tumor on her left elbow that never heals. The spot on her nose is another small one. There’s another on the back of her neck. There’s also a dark-colored tumor on her left rear leg. I can’t afford to have her get surgery, because I don’t have a job and must save my money to pay rent for whatever home I can find for us.

I was homeless from mid March to mid April. I found I had money in a 401 K  savings account and was able to use that to get a dog-friendly motel for 2 weeks, then a cheap room through Craig’s List for the past 6 months. I’ve been paying rent on time since then, but one of my roommates is disruptive and has scary psychotic episodes. After complaining about him to our landlord, he gave us all 30 day notices to get out. Now I’m about to be homeless again. We’re supposed to get out tomorrow. The other 2 roommates – the one’s who haven’t paid rent for September & October – are planning to stay in the house and fight the eviction on the grounds that they have mental disabilities. I’m planning to move to a dog-friendly motel that will cost more for 1 week than renting a room in a house for a month would – if I can find one that will let me keep a dog and doesn’t have drug addicts as the other housemates.

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Our last motel room was like this one, but with wooden floors and no mini fridge. The next one will be slightly nicer, but also more expensive. The last motel had cockroaches and homeless people wandering around at night. The next one has been newly renovated, so I hope it will be bug free. Both allow pets and have Wi-Fi, so I can look online for another room that’s pet-friendly and hopefully won’t have drug-addict housemates.

I’ve updated my resume so it looks pretty good. I wrote a decent cover letter too. I’ve been out of the workforce for 8 years though, having spent a good part of the time looking after my elderly mother with Alzheimer’s.

After Mom had to be moved to a care home, then a convalescent home, I had no money to live on. I wasn’t able to continue paying rent on the home I shared with another lady for 18 years, so she gave me 30 days to get out. I was a mental wreck and suicidal, so I told her she could have all my stuff, thinking I was going to kill myself. She left the house to sell it and move into a senior apartment. I didn’t kill myself, obviously, but people she hired to clean out the house took all my furniture and most of my things. All I had was what I could fit in my car with me and my dog. Luckily, one of my nephews and one of my friends lent me money to live on and to pay my car insurance and registration, so I was ok until my 401 K money came.

I still have a little over $ 6000 left to live on, but living in a motel for 2 weeks will take over $ 1000 of that. That’s why I asked our current landlord if I could rent the house from him for $ 1300 / month + utilities. I emailed him with this proposition, but he didn’t respond. Then I texted him to ask if he got my email. His response was ” I can’t do that at this time.”

So my dog and I are about to be homeless again, but maybe this time I’m a little better off. I don’t feel suicidal this time and I have a decent resume and cover letter. I still need a place to live, but if I found one last time, maybe I can find a decent one this time too.

I chatted with the sometimes psychotic roommate while I ate a bowl of cereal and watched the news this morning.  He doesn’t seem too bad, but he makes me feel uncomfortable. When I talk with him, I feel like I want to run away from him and the house. That’s why I’ve been coming to the public library to work on my resume and go online. It’s quiet and peaceful here. It feels safe and sane, so I feel safe and sane. I feel like I’ve been able to think clearly for the last 2 weeks, not get into a panic or suicidal, because I’ve been staying at the library as much as possible, instead of at the house. I keep starting to cry these last couple of days, but I stop myself, because I need to stay level-headed and calm.

Science doesn’t yet support the idea that people can be psychically sensitive to the thoughts, feelings or vibes of others, but I’m sure we can. The sometimes psychotic roommate seems to give off a high-strung, “crazy” vibe to me. My other roommate emanates anxiety sometimes, depression sometimes, and sometimes no negative vibes. My dog is pretty much always mellow, except for the last time we were made homeless. She was upset until we got into this last house. Then she was calm even when the rest of us were upset. She’s a very sweet and good-tempered dog.

I hope I can find us a home.

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