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(Picture of one of the dogs my roommate is dog-sitting. He sleeps on my bed at night.)

I’ve been feeling anxious or down much of the time lately, but yesterday I had a good day. It was sunny for a change, but still cold. My roommate’s boyfriend didn’t come over. I had finished reading a sci-fi paperback I liked the day before. I was going to check my email, then eat breakfast, before going through all the email & job finding websites I could find with possible jobs for me & sending out my resume for them.

I checked my email & saw a job opening for a QC lab tech at Blue Diamond Growers. It sounded perfect, so I tried to send them my resume online right away. It took longer than I expected. I had to look up & calculate some information, then redo the online resume maybe 5 times before I had it filled out properly. Then I took a break to eat breakfast & went back to sending out more resumes.

I “should” be able to be this focused more often. I “should” have done this a month ago, a year ago, 8 years ago,…but I can only deal with the present. I can’t change the past, & I know my anxiety & depression have been a huge hindrance for me.

Yesterday, though, I was good. I probably sent out a dozen resumes for various lab tech or related jobs. I spent pretty much the whole day on that, with breaks to eat or take the dogs out. My roommate was home most of the time too, though I think she went out once. I skipped watching The Big Bang Theory at 7 pm, because I was still sending out more resumes. I finally stopped, ate some quick dinner & watched the end of Grimm & beginning of Emerald City just before 9 pm. I went to sleep around 11 pm.

I wish I could feel that good every day, but I don’t. I didn’t even take my vitamins or St. John’s Wort yesterday, but I didn’t need it. I felt hopeful & good.

The night before, I put some of my money-draw oil, which is calming & smells like money, on my wrists. I think it has a strong magic charge, so it works. I don’t have the ingredients or recipe to make more of it, but I use it carefully. Right now I’m down to only one green votive candle too. Maybe I need to buy some more green tea lights for my essential oil diffuser?

A thing so important as getting a new job requires both mundane work and magical work. Magic needs a way to work, so one sets up the mundane paths through which what one desires can come first. Then magic spells and charms help with the intangible side, whether or not your resume gets noticed by the right person, whether they like it or like you at your interview, whether someone else who might otherwise be offered the job doesn’t show up or can’t be reached or just doesn’t come across well that day to that interviewer. Many witches like to think they can do spells that will harm none, but in truth it’s almost impossible to live a life in which no one else is ever harmed.  The best you can do is try your best to be compassionate and fair, then hope what you do works out for the best.

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