In my dream (from July 13), I first go back to my old job I had for 13 years, but 3 young Asian woman (like in my last job) are working there now. They’re trying to run the dispensing and packaging line, but it’s not working right. Many of the labels are not date-stamped. Some bottles have double labels, some have no labels, and some are stuck in the shrink-wrap heat tunnel. The woman who was in charge day to day in my last lab job is dispensing, which means she’s the machine operator in charge of the line. She’s responsible for seeing if other people on the line are having problems, stopping the line, and fixing the problems. She’s not paying attention though, so the other 2 woman – one at the shrink-wrap tunnel and one near the boxing end – are both about to cry. (Note that in my dreams of this production line, it generally runs in a circle, rather than the L-shape it really was. This symbolizes the repetitive nature of our work and problems there.)
I try to help with production, but the woman running the line snaps at me like I’m to blame for the problems. I decide to leave. I say, “I’m leaving now. I came to work for free for one day, but I won’t be back.” I feel sorry for the 2 other women working the line, but I don’t feel any responsibility to stay and work here. I think this whole company needs to be sorted out and to fix their problems. (Note this is how all of my dreams of my old company ended, and seeing these 3 women from my last job in this situation, means I feel there are similar problems in that lab.)
I walk outside, but still feel trapped through most of this dream. There’s an older woman in one part who seems nice at first, but I get the impression that she’s really a monster who’s secretly threatening the other people who work under her. There’s also a part with a nice scruffy white dog, which I try to look after at first, but then think it’s infected with the same zombie virus as the other people who were working under that older woman. The virus originates with her. The other people want to treat her with respect because she’s a mother and grandmother, but she’s a monster beneath the surface. (She’s kind of like an evil stepmother in fairytales or the matriarch of a family of criminals. She corrupts everyone around her and brings them to ruin.) I realize I can’t fix this group or save these people by staying here. I tell them they should leave now before they get turned into zombies. I take the dog with me before it gets turned into a zombie, but eventually leave it near a house on a warm, dry hillside.
There’s a part in which I find myself back inside the building I just left. There’s a shop in the front of this big brick building and a lab in the back (which probably symbolizes Blue Diamond). There’s also a kind of commuter train with three lines – one with a neon blue light, one with a neon pink light, one with a neon green light. I take the green line (symbolizing money?), which takes me back to the same lab I’ve just escaped from. I go back and keep trying to find an escape from this place. I go through doorways, windows and ceilings. I keep moving uphill or skyward. Whenever I go outside I feel cool air and sense open space around me. I feel free then, but keep running into walls or ceilings that trap me. (The feeling of cool air may come from my window being open while I sleep.)
I come to a harbor with a castle wall next to it. I go inside the wall, which has a spiral stairway, a hall and narrow rooms in it, like in a castle. The hall and rooms have windows in them, some looking onto the harbor and others looking toward the land beyond, which is also uphill. The people here are celebrating a festival like Mardi Gras. A woman and maybe some others inside the castle wall seem like demons, acting friendly and nice, but maybe tempting and tricking the other people. All I want is to get away and be free. I think the walls don’t protect the people like they think, but are actually there to keep them from being free. (Note this setting may also represent the trap of temptation and addiction. This idea may come from reading a description of the meaning of the Devil in Tarot cards.) I keep looking for a way out.
I climb out a window and fly uphill, but then an awning of cloth appears over my head. It’s painted like the sky, but it’s still trapping me. (This could represent the illusion of freedom.) I keep breaking through all these barriers, all the while moving upward. I realize I’m dreaming. I wonder if the repeated sensation of cool air comes from cool air in my bedroom while I’m sleeping. When I’m “free” outside at the end, I realize I’m not really out of this world that keeps trapping me. I wake then.
Feeling trapped in this dream relates to feeling trapped in various jobs or parts of my life. Being in a job where I’m not happy can feel like a trap, but being unemployed and poor is also a trap. Being in the last house with Robert and Janae was a trap of poverty, isolation and crazy roommates. The household I’m in now is sane and not isolated, but being stuck in unproductive patterns of self-indulgence, guilt, anxiety and depression is still being trapped. I’m not looking for some Buddhist nirvana, but I want security, a job I like, a social group, and work for something I care about, so I don’t feel trapped in loops of boredom and meaningless toil.