DIY – Calming bath salts

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You don’t need to spend a lot of money to make witchy things.  Our ancestors didn’t buy special tools and ingredients. They used what they had, what they had learned, and the knowledge and intuition that came to them.

I’ve been really stressed over not having enough money for rent and not yet having a new job yet, so I wanted to make some simple bath salts to help me feel calm and protected. One of my main goddesses has an ocean aspect, so I decided to use a sea shell for my mixing bowl, then tint with blue food coloring. Some traditions of hoodoo use colored baths for different purposes. I believe this helps on a psychological as well as a spiritual level. Blue is for protection, so blue it is.

First I bought a box of sea salt at a discount store for $ 1.  Himalayan pink salt can work too, but as I said, I’m trying to evoke a goddess with an ocean aspect. Previously I used a few drops of a store-bought relaxing blend of essential oils, which works fine, but this time I followed my intuition and used lemongrass (9 drops), lemon (9 drops) and rosemary (6 drops). Lemongrass is calming, but also works magically for opening roads. Lemon is uplifting, but also works magically for cleansing. Rosemary helps with memory and headaches (which I had from worrying), and is also magically protective. I didn’t realize when I put these 3 essential oils into my salt, that rosemary is supposed to help with headaches, but as soon as I smelled it, my headache went away. Then I read in a herbal book that it’s supposed to be good for headaches, so it does work.

I used about 2 tablespoons of sea salt, then added 3 drops of blue food coloring, 9 drops of lemongrass, 9 drops of lemon, and 6 drops of rosemary.

Stir with a spoon or your finger. Pour this into a warm bath. Stir the water clockwise with your dominant hand while evoking spiritual protection. Draw a protective sigil on the top of your bath water. ( I used the rune Algiz, but you could also use a cross or a peace sign, whatever means protection for you.) Get in, soak in the bath for a while, then pour the water over your arms, back of your neck, back, face, chest, stomach and legs. I think it’s better to get out of the water before letting it drain out. Be sure to rinse or clean the bathtub after you get out. You don’t want a blue ring around the bathtub.

After I used this bath salt, I felt amazingly relaxed and spiritually protected. I slept fantastically and still felt relaxed and protected the next morning.

It probably helped me that I’d had a pretty good experience with testing for a new job that day and was going to interview for another the next day. It also probably helped that I used the same essential oils in a battery-powered diffuser when I slept. At any rate, this blend worked for me.

 

You can make your own bath salts the same way.

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons Sea Salt (or Himalayan salt or table salt)

something to mix in – a bowl, tea cup, sea shell or whatever

spoon to mix with (optional)

relaxing essential oils – lavender, chamomile, rose, lemongrass, lemon, rosemary, spearmint, frankincense, etc.  Vanilla extract works too. Don’t mix too many different oils together. I prefer 3, 5, or 7.

3 drops food coloring. (Use 1 -2 drops of red for pink water.)
Note: Red is for passion or energy, but may also increase anger.

Pink is for love.

Orange is for energy or concentration.

Yellow is for attraction (physical or wealth).

Green is for abundance (money or health).

Blue is for protection.

Purple is for power (especially spiritual or magical).

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Update – Rent Money & Job Interviews

Job Interviews

I picked the picture above because it’s at least racially diverse, despite the white man being the only one who looks confident. Since young white men tend to have a hiring advantage, he probably has good reason to look confident and happy.

Anyway, on to my real post….

I’m struggling to get rent money this month and probably for November too. If any of my friends and family are willing to lend me money for rent, I’ll greatly appreciate it. I did a petition to St. Expedite to get rent money, but so far he’s only delivered half of what I needed. I’m having mixed feelings toward him as a result. I have to give him credit though for getting me half of what I needed, by my former roommate lending me $ 250 and my current roommate paying me $ 40 for watching her Rover dogs for a few days. It seems a bit unfair to give credit to a spirit for work I had to do myself, but I suppose he did help in some ways.

I’ve been putting out resumes pretty much every day.

This morning I drove an hour and a half to an orientation and screening test for a temp job in another city. The group of applicants was very diverse, which I view as a good sign. I did fine on the first test. I probably got 100%. I couldn’t take the 2nd test there because their computers weren’t hooking up to the network, but I took it at home from a link sent to my email and did fine on it too. – The problems with this job are that it wouldn’t start until mid November and the long commute might be too much for my car.

I was too nervous to eat breakfast this morning, but I stopped at Burger King for a small, cheap lunch. While I was there, I got another call from a staffing agency for an opening in my old company. This is the same job I keep getting calls for and keep telling them I can’t go back to work there. This time I thought, what the heck, go ahead and put in my resume, even though they’re highly unlikely to want to hire me back.

I’m so desperate for work right now that I also put in my resume for a part-time minimum wage job making ear candles.  I thought that might be a little interesting, since they use essential oils and I know a bit about making stuff with essential oils.

Instead of coming straight home today, I went to the local library first to check my email. A guy next to me was annoying, so I couldn’t stay long. I came home to see that my landlady had left town again, so I felt safe being here at home. I’ve only paid half the rent for October, so of course I want to avoid her when she’s here.

Feeling so much anxiety, I pulled out a nicely scented black candle to eat my anxiety. In the past, I’ve found that I when I was feeling extremely and irrationally angry, I could pour my anger into a black candle, and that would make my anger go down. Apparently this works for anxiety too, though it probably helps that this candle smells like sandalwood and frankincense – both calming scents.

This afternoon I also got a call for another interview tomorrow. Wish me luck on this one. It’s only a 10 minute commute and should pay pretty well. It’s for QC technician for a dairy product company.

 

…Oh yeah, I also got to see Blade Runner 2049, which I loved. I’d been wishing I could see it, but thought I wouldn’t be able to spend the time and money when I’m struggling to make rent money and get a job. Then last Thursday I was on Craigslist looking for a job and decided to look at their Free Stuff section. Someone posted free tickets to Blade Runner 2049 at the IMAX theater downtown. I thought this must be a sign that I need to get these tickets, so I did. – Actually it was only one ticket and I had to pay $ 14.50 for parking, but it was a great movie and I felt like my Dad was there watching it with me. Of course I cried because of that, but I felt like it was kind of cathartic and necessary for me, so that was good. I prayed for him to help me survive right now, and I think he’s probably trying to look out for me and help me where he can.

 

Worry and Faith

Soul Collage Reading - 9-22-17

I’ve been seriously putting out applications for the last couple of months. I’ve gone to a few job interviews – two last week, none this week. Every tarot reading I’ve read for myself, the one reading I had at the Pagan Pride Festival last weekend, and the 4 online readings I did this evening have all been positive and clearly show success. Even so, I keep worrying that I might not have a new job by the time rent is due on the 1st of October.

The picture above is of the online reading I just did with Soul Collage cards. It also fits with all the other readings I’ve had lately.

The Fool relates to the Fool card in Tarot, which means, in part, being able to make a leap of faith at the beginning of one’s journey. The Great Mother relates to the reading I had this weekend, which said I need to work with my feminine divine and believe in myself more. My Inner Worrier relates to me worrying and not trusting that everything will work out ok. The Vision chakra card relates to inner vision, intuition and psychic abilities, as well as foresight and clear vision in general.

Fear Demon & Fake City (dream)

City Inside Out - Haveit Neox - Maddy Gynoid

(Picture of “City Inside Out”, a Second Life art installation by Haveit Neox, picture by Maddy Gynoid, at Echt Virtuell)

In a dream I had early this morning, I go into a building that has convention rooms toward the back. I see the words “Pagan Pride” over a pair of doors and want to go there, because I want to go to a Pagan Pride Festival this weekend in physical reality. Instead of heading straight for those doors however, I go to the left and into another room with a buffet in it. I want to eat some of the food here, but then think I’m getting distracted from going to the Pagan Pride Festival. I go back to look for that room, but now I can’t find it.

I go outside of this building and look around. The area and building reminds me of some old department store, maybe Montgomery Ward?, that isn’t in physical reality anymore.

I go back inside and meet a character who looks at first like a normal human man, but which I think feels demonic, the kind of spirit I call a fear demon. [I think this is a spirit which can appear in dreams and create nightmares, so it can feed off a person’s fear.] At one point it looks like a child swinging on a swing, but I don’t trust it. It seems to be playing the role of a ghost child, trying to get me or other people in the dream to feel sorry for it, so it can lead us into a scary place where it has more control. Other people in the dream don’t see that it’s manipulative and evil.

When I’m not tricked by the child character, it changes into a medium sized black dog. I’m attracted to the dog at first and try to talk to it, but I feel a malevolence within it, like it’s not a real dog. I move away from it.

A scruffy white dog appears. I’m attracted to it at first and want to help it. When I look more closely at it though, I realize it’s the same black dog, which is really a demon. I say something like, “You can’t fool me. I know you’re the same black dog.” Now it changes back into the black dog and snarls menacingly at me. I turn away from it and go outside again.

Now the world outside looks like part of a city, but in a kind of circular, bowl-like shape. The colors are mostly dark brown, beige, rust and grey – like dirt and decay. It’s neither day or night, but more of a twilight with city lights. I fly up to the top of a building near me and see its flat roof is covered with boxes and debris. I land here and look around. This is when I think this space seems circular and artificial, like a bowl with buildings making up the circumference, almost like mountains. The sky and colors beyond are mostly brown and rust-colored. The building I’m standing on is light grey concrete.

I feel kind of trapped in this environment, like the demon wants me here, but I’m also lucid and in control of myself, so I’m not scared. I know it can’t really hurt me. I fly around this building and look for a higher one, from which to get a better view.  I find one, fly to the top and land. From here I can see the top of the previous building, which is in the center of this bowl-like cityscape. I’m able to see that this is all a construction, almost like a dark city sim in Second Life, except the border is circular instead of square. I know the demon can’t manipulate me from this spot.

At this point the city dissolves around me and I wake, around 6 am.

Notes & Interpretation:

I was awake and online around 4 am before I had this dream. I had just read a blog post about a dream in which Papa Legba appeared with some dogs and read that he’s associated with dogs much like Hecate is. Just before I fell asleep, I saw in my mind a some brightly colored symbols on a black background, a mostly black, medium sized dog apparently dead in a trash can, then the same dog alive and well.  This dog seemed to symbolize a possible deity or spirit guide.

I believe there are demonic spirits which can feed on human emotions and energy. From personal subjective experience in dreams, I think some specialize in giving people nightmares, so they can feed on fear, but they can feed on a person’s fear (or other strong emotions) in waking life too. When I dream of these kind of spirits, they try to manipulate my dream so I’ll be scared, but since I tend to become lucid when I’m scared, I can usually outmaneuver them and wake myself up.

I’ve been feeling some anxiety over needing a job and money lately, so a fear demon might have thought I was vulnerable last night. Even though I’ve had some periods of anxiety, though, I’ve also felt more confident and magically empowered than I have in a long time. I find it interesting that this apparent demon tried different forms to try to trick me, but I was able to see though all of them. Then it seemed to get annoyed with me for seeing though it’s disguises, so it tried to trap me in a dream environment it constructed. Maybe the decaying city was supposed to make me feel homeless and lost, but I instead viewed it as a kind of virtual reality construct, almost like a constructed dream environment in the movie Inception. I didn’t worry about not being able to move into a different environment, because I was fascinated with how this one was designed. I don’t think this bowl-shape is one I would have invented myself. Though it does remind me of Hell in Dante’s Inferno or the underground labs in Westworld, in the dream it reminded me most of a man-made sim in Second Life, which means it would be fake and harmless.

I read probably in a blog recently that Fear is an illusion, and that our higher self tries to show us this by exposing us to the things we fear. It’s basically trying to say, “See that wasn’t so bad, was it?”, but it doesn’t think *anything* is really that bad, so it can expose us to some really horrible situations by normal standards. I mention this idea, because maybe the whole “fear demon” idea is a construct that my subconscious uses to make me feel less fearful in waking life reality?  (I still think these are real external entities, though.)

When I picked out the picture at the top of this post, I had the idea that it probably annoys that demon. Instead of being an image that seems scary to me, it’s of an art installation that I loved in SL. I contributed a short piece of writing to it, which was about a homeless woman in my old neighborhood. Also, instead of making me feel vulnerable to being homeless myself, it reminds me of the drive to help others who are vulnerable and of the power of art and writing to empower us to improve our world.

I’m still feeling big mood swings lately though, the product of stress and money worries. I was thinking today that when I feel anxiety, it feels like something is pulling at my soul as if it were taffy.

17 (3 dreams)

17 I’m probably wasting time by making this post, so I’ll try to keep it short. I need to be checking email and putting out job applications. I noticed the number 17 in a recent dream, though, and it was in two of my dreams again this morning. A friend on Facebook also posted that her son will be turning 17 soon. Maybe somebody wants me to remember this number? (I was also feeling stressed, and writing relaxes me and makes me feel happy.)

In my earlier dream, I go to see Katrhin (my previous landlady/ friend). She’s living in a small, old, white-painted house that’s owned by another woman who owns a larger house on the same property. (This is like a place she stayed in while on vacation in Fort Bragg.) She’s trying to figure out how to furnish this house, which has several rooms. I want to stay here with her, but I don’t think she really wants me here. I keep thinking I just need one little room with a bed and access to a bathroom. I pick a room to be mine.

A tall, attractive, middle-aged man comes into the house. He seems nice. I want him to have a place here too. (He’s not like our old roommate who drove us both crazy.) There’s a sun room with a white or yellow couch in it. I think he can sleep there. Then Kathrin changes the sofa for a smaller one. Now it’s too short for the man, so if he sleeps there, either his feet will hang over or he’ll have to sleep curled up in a ball. While I want us to all have safe, comfortable places to sleep, I get the feeling she wants to live here by herself.

I check out the bathroom that’s between my room and the kitchen. It’s old, but there’s a functional sink and shower-bath. I don’t see a toilet, though, and tell Kathrin she’ll have to put one in. I think she must have her own bathroom somewhere and doesn’t want to bother with putting in a toilet here. I think this house situation isn’t going to resolve the way I want. I know I’m dreaming, but I think this is her house, so I can’t tell her what to do with it. (It’s like I’m invading her dream.)

[Note, plumbing problems in dreams symbolizes emotional problems for me. Not having a working toilet could symbolize not wanting to deal with emotional issues, while a toilet that backs up or won’t flush (such as I would dream of in the house I grew up in) symbolizes not dealing with emotional problems that really need to be dealt with.]

Kathrin goes out to the house of the other woman who lives on this property. I follow her. The lady in this house reminds me of one of my mother’s aunts, but she’s Kathrin’s friend in this dream. She has white hair and seems very nice. I go to use her guest bathroom to wash my hands. It has light pink tile. I use some hand lotion and seem to use too much of it. Later the woman asks me if I used her “eye wash” and says she’s missing alot of it. I think I did use some light lotion in a pink bottle that was probably expensive (like Kathrin’s aloe stuff that was good on sunburns). I’m not sure if the stuff I used was the same as the stuff that’s missing, because lotion wouldn’t be “eye wash”. I say I didn’t, though I feel like I probably did. (I wake here and go back to sleep.)

In a later dream, I meet my nephew Peter, who’s younger here. He’s about to start a new job that he’s excited about. I ask him how old he’ll be when he starts the job. He says 17. I say that’s a good time to start working. Then I remember he worked at Burger King when he lived with me and Mom, and I think he was in high school then. I ask him how old he was when he worked at Burger King and lived with us. He says 15. I say, “So this isn’t your first job.” He says no. I think this job he’s talking about now is about this moment in this dream, while the other was about waking-life reality and isn’t significant to this dream. I start to become conscious of waking-life reality, start to feel sad, and maybe realize that Peter wouldn’t really be friendly with me like he is in this dream? (Maybe I wake briefly and go back to sleep?)

In my last dream, I’m in a lab with other people. I think the dark-haired woman talking to 2 other lab workers is my supervisor. I’m with a younger woman who is also a new hire. We’re all wearing white lab coats. The lab is white too. I think I’m supposed to weigh out powdered hot chocolate, so the others can run some test with it. I ask my supervisor how much I need to weigh out. I can see a number across the room that looks like 100 and something, but I can’t see it clearly. She says, “17 grams”. I think, ok I can do that. I was worried I might mess up on something, but weighing out 17 grams of powdered chocolate seems ridiculously easy for lab work. The others are going to mix it with a liquid for a test [or an extraction?]. I wake after this. (Note this part might be about a lab job I spoke about on the phone with a recruiter from a temp agency, since that lab works with sugars and dairy products.)

 

Overcoming Obstacles

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This last week has been rough. I put out resumes online, went to an interview that had really hard chemistry questions for a lab with horrible reviews from previous employees, blew out my tire on the way home, had to get a ride to my bank so I could get my car repaired, let my landlady cheat me out of $ 100, sold my plasma for $ 45, got 2 decent used tires for $ 70, had the mechanic remove my front bumper so I can still drive, dealt with demanding dogs during 100+ degree heat, and cleaned up after my dog pooping on the living room carpet at 3 am last night.

Meanwhile, being sensitive to subtle energies and other peoples emotions means I have to sort out whether what I’m feeling is purely my own emotion, the emotions of people around me, some kind of precognition warning of “doom”, or a trick of my mind and brain chemistry. I had ugly feelings last night as I was writing my blog and early this morning when I first woke up. I stayed up late to finish my last blog post, then was cleaning up after my dog when my roommate came home at 3 am. Not having enough sleep last night means my serotonin levels are lower today, so it could be easier to feel miserable. One good thing yesterday was that when I started to feel anxiety, I could tell it was just coming from my own internal mental state. I wasn’t sensing any kind of precognitive warning. This morning too, after my initial feelings of anxiety passed, I felt a protective calm descend around me, as if my guardian spirits were trying to help me. It didn’t feel like it was just some trick of my brain, which I think that calm feeling has been sometimes in my past.

I still have hope that everything will turn out ok, even though anxiety and mood swings have plagued me this last week. Stress is the cause of course. Still, I feel like I’ll be ok. I was able to put out resumes, go to a job interview, talk on the phone about another job offer, get $ 45 for my plasma, get 2 tires replaced for $70, and get 2 books I wanted for cheap, even though I was going through all this drama and stress.

Here’s my Soul Collage card about facing and dealing with Obstacles:

30

Rough, stressful times feel kind of like this.

Magical Thinking (and 2 dream fragments)

Doloris -Westworld-episode-9

(from diary posts on Thursday, Aug 31)

My dog woke me around 2:45 am, wanting to go out. I’d been dreaming and thought it was probably a pretty stupid dream anyway, then realized it had some interesting bits.

In it, I’d just walked into a shop from outdoors. The items in the shop appear around me as I try to make sense of them. It’s a clothing store. I think the designer of these clothes is a woman, clever and innovative. My Dad is here with me. I try on first one, then another, historically-themed dress. The first might be late Victorian, but simplified, not historically accurate. The second is in a blue print that I think is an homage to Disneyland. When I put it on, I see it’s a pioneer-style.

I also put on a small pistol, attached to a chain hanging at my waist like a belt. My Dad doesn’t like that I have this gun. I say, “Why not? It’s not usable. It’s just decoration.” I think having this gun makes me look tough and like I can defend myself. – I wake at this point.

When I’m outside with the dogs and trying to make sense of this dream fragment, I think spontaneously, “These violent delights have violent ends.” I realize this is a reference to HBO’s Westworld and how Dolores is triggered to become violent. I say this phrase aloud to myself and realize I’ve used her accent in the show, the slightly southern prairie girl accent. I wonder if I was about to become like Dolores in my dream? The patterns on the blue dress might be a reference to the patterns I’ve been trying to sense and understand on a metaphysical level, or the ones Dolores is forced to repeat over and over, until she seemingly changes direction? Maybe my Dad also didn’t want me to have the gun, because it symbolizes when I wanted to kill myself?

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My landlady made a deal with me to take $ 10/ day off my rent because I was watching 2 little dogs for a friend of hers. On Tuesday, my left front tire blew out while I was driving back from a job interview. On Wednesday I asked my landlady to drive me to the bank, so I could move money from savings to checking for the repair and so I could give her my rent money. I handed her $300. Then she said, “I was thinking it should be $400, since I watched the dogs part of the time too.” She didn’t watch them for 10 days worth of watching them, but I didn’t feel like I could argue with her. I didn’t feel like I was in a position to defend myself, so I took out another $ 100 from my ATM and gave it to her. I didn’t even write a check for proof of what I paid her, like I usually do.

Feeling angry toward my landlady on Wednesday was starting to trigger vindictive feelings and thoughts of how I could get back at her. Maybe my dream was about to take on a Westworld theme, in which I play the role of Dolores in my blue prairie dress, so sweet and passive on the outside, but with a rage building inside as I recall all the abuse I’ve suffered? I was getting angry at Life for all the crap and hardship I’ve been through.

On Wednesday, after the trip to my bank, I had my landlady drop me off at the plasma center, so I could get $ 45 for having my blood pumped out, separated in a centrifuge, then having my blood cells and cold saline pumped back in.  The movie “Inception” was playing on the screens above the donor beds. I watched it in a strange state of mind. In the movie, the characters are in a dream world, with different levels, as they try to manipulate the mind of another man. As I watched it, I was feeling like physical reality isn’t fully real, like it’s just one level of reality.

I thought the level the gods work on is the level above our physical reality. Dream reality is one level. Cyberspace is one level. Virtual reality platforms like Second Life are another level. I thought that maybe when I’m doing effective spell work, I’m connecting to that upper level the gods work on. – I thought later that I often feel like I have one foot in normal reality and one in one of these other worlds, which is partly why I call myself Persephone.

The movie and my state of mind allowed me to have an altered state of consciousness in which I could easily imagine, visualize and sense my ideas. As I looked at the wall in front of me, I was able to visualize my favorite little beach in Fort Bragg. (Donors aren’t allowed to close their eyes for long while donating, in case they might fall asleep or pass out.)  I felt like I could sense and communicate with my Goddess here at this mentally imagined beach. Taking advantage of this altered state of consciousness, I decide to recite in my mind and mentally cast my favorite money spell. (This kind of mental magic is called Inner Temple work. Outer Temple work uses physical tools and rituals.)

When I recited the spell in my mind, I identified with the seed in the line, “As the rain upon the seed.” This line symbolizes money coming like rain falling upon a seed, a natural nourishing force. (Many people subconsciously think they don’t deserve money when they try to cast a money spell, which makes it not work. The wording of my spell evokes the sense of money being a natural force to which anyone is entitled – like the tide, rain, fruit growing on a tree, or honey made by bees.)

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Westworld does play homage to Disneyland, by the way, a place where our imagination becomes real, so we can play in it. In Westworld the dark turns of human imagination are allowed to run free. – “These violent delights have violent ends,” was a warning to me not to give in to the dark turnings of my own imagination. It was a warning not to become vindictive and spiteful, which was how I was starting to feel Wednesday night.

As a witch, when I feel angry toward someone I know pretty well, they sometimes have bad things happen to them, even if I don’t consciously try to hex them. I can’t say this to mundane people, because if they believe it even a little, they might feel afraid of me, which is not good. If they don’t believe it, they’ll think I’m weird and delusional, which isn’t good either. Some things are better left unsaid when trying to navigate living in both the mundane and the magical world.

After my landlady took more money than she should have from me for my rent, then dropped me off at the plasma center, she accidentally locked one of the little dogs I’d been watching in her bedroom. He tore up the carpet near her door while we were both out. When I got home, I heard him barking from her room and let him out. I thought, “Don’t piss off a witch,” and smiled in schadenfreude.

Normally people will say this was just a coincidence that she left the dog in her room and it damaged her carpet at the same time that I was angry with her. Yet, I’ve seen this same kind of thing happen before when I was angry with people. When it happens once, it’s easy to call it coincidence, but when it happens multiple times, there might be some underlying causal action.

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I had another dream later on Thursday morning. In it I’m poor and maybe homeless, since I’m pushing a shopping cart with my possessions in it. I’m still finding good things around me though. I come to a big public library and collect books that are being thrown out. They aren’t great, but I see some potential in them. I open one that seems to be in a foreign language and it’s all tables of these symbols I don’t understand. It seems like it’s for magical work of some kind. Maybe it’s in Arabic? Most of the other books are fiction. I put them in my shopping cart with a few other things I have.

I see Kathrin (my former landlady and friend). I go to talk with her, but she seems hostile toward me. She says the books I have are crap. I say they’re not very good, but they’re not that bad. Then she says I’m not even supposed to be here because she put out a restraining order against me after I was stalking her. [This is not from real life.]  I say I’m sorry and I won’t bother her anymore. She leaves. I go back into a library building behind me.

One of the librarians sees me and says I’m not supposed to be here because there’s a restraining order against me for the whole Sacramento public library system. She points out a green sign that says I’m supposed to stay 17 feet away from this building. I apologize and say I didn’t see that.

I go outside again and see the same kinds of green signs on the outside of the building. I move to a circular spot in the middle of the walkways between these buildings. The buildings are white marble. The walkways are lined with birch trees with light green and yellow leaves. The setting is very pretty. I don’t think it’s fair that I’m not allowed to go to any libraries anymore, but I think I can still find books in other places. [This idea may come from when I found books lying on the ground at the grocery store parking lot, the free ones I found at a food closet, and the ones a lady gives away for free at our local farmers market.]

I woke feeling first sad, then angry. I never tried to stalk Kathrin, though she was probably afraid I might follow her to her new apartment, hex her, or say bad things about her. I think these 2 dreams came from my anger toward my roommate and current landlady for taking advantage of me, and my anger toward how Life has treated me. I felt like I wanted to lash out and hurt someone, but I was restraining myself. I don’t really want to hex anyone. The green restraining order signs refer to me retraining myself so I won’t hurt someone. I don’t know why the distance on them was precisely 17 feet. That might be a precognition about something that could make sense later. In this dream I’m being kept from one of my primary sources of power – access to knowledge. I still have nature around me as a secondary source of power though.

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Today (Friday, Sept 1st), I went to 2 used book stores this morning. Thinking back to the Dimple used book store on Broadway, near the Tower theater, the scene in this later dream might have been precognitive of my visit here. I didn’t find books being thrown out, but I did find an odd bunch of empty CD cases tossed out. The pathways in my dream crossed at a kind of crossroads point, and this intersection is definitely a crossroad. The trees in real life weren’t birch trees (symbolic of new beginnings), but there are plenty of trees and bushes here. At that store, I got a science fiction book for 65 cents, by using points on my Dimple VIP card. At the second store, I got a book on how to read horoscope natal charts, which is kind of like the magical book in my dream. It’s in English, but the astrological signs are kind of like a foreign language. It’s also a reference book with some tables and charts.